After 34 years of pushing, I'm trying a new approach: Stop forging ahead and rest. Trust. Let go.
This new way of operating has been terrifying for me. For someone who has survived by gaining control of every variable, this approach has triggered a similar internal response to what might happen if I were to jump off a cliff without a rope. In my mind, the only way is down. But in the very back of my mind, there's a sense that there may be another way. Beyond all my hopes for changing the world and impacting millions is a deeper hope: to be free. Free from all of the pushing. Free from the need for the world to validate my existence by "letting me help them". Free from the lie I have to live to be in "ministry" when in reality I'm taking much more than I'm giving. A picture is forming in my mind of a bird being pushed from the nest - and while the only outcome it could have imagined was death, the reality of flight is just about to change everything.
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