Can I add trust to my work-life?

Can I add trust to my work-life? A recurring question for me: If I knew things were going to come together, were going to be okay, were going to blow up soon, but not yet… how would that feel? I can barely imagine it. Why is it such a difficult thing to imagine? Because those aren’t my current pathways. My current pathways are steeped in shame. Can they be replaced with pathways steeped in trust… in rest? Can I imagine something great is going to happen—for instance, something I feel God has promised me—no matter what I do? Can I feel—really feel—what it is like to be in that reality? That is step one, and it is almost impossible for me to do. This is trust—not to just believe something in my head, but to allow it to permeate my entire body until I literally, physically, feel it. (Feelings have been so discounted in our culture. Why? Our entire existence is feeling. What we know is meaningless until it manifests itself as a physical feeling in someone somewhere.) Now, can I begin to approach my decisions about how to spend my time, energy, focus, from in that feeling—from inside the reality that trust? This is faith—not only to allow a belief to change our words or actions, but to allow a belief to change our own body’s chemical makeup… to allow it to change our brain—our mindset. Now, can I reset myself with every new day, new week, new moment, new breath in this way? Can I allow this to be the place from which I make each decision, each task on my task-list, each contact with others? Wouldn’t that change everything? God, I want this.

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